sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
