He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
