I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
