We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize