I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
