oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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