at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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