Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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