this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize