Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
