we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
