Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
