Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
