we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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