you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
