i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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