you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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