You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
