Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
