in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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