so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
