S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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