Welp...herpes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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