its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize