You're so nebulous sometimes
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
