Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
