im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
