I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
