I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
