Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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