This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
