seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
