you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
