i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
