can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
