You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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