her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Please don't give away my fajitas
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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