you guys were way drunker than both of me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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