If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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