you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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