Rock
Scissors
Fuck
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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