when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
