just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
