Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
