im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
