I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
