we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
