I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
