No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
