Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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