Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
