Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
