So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
