Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
