i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
