Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
