Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize