I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
