after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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